I finally summoned the courage and broke the news to my mom;
Me- Ma, I am leaving for a 10 day meditation retreat.
Mom- What? (Loud enough for fellow shoppers to hear) Is everything all-right between you and “D”
Me- Yes!! They are as they’ve always been; at least that’s my perception.
Mom- Are you depressed, feeling hopeless? You have everything going right in your life then why do you want to go for this retreat?
Me- Just for the sake of it. No particular reason, in fact I myself really don’t know why.
I finally hang up because I know there’s nothing that can be said to convince my headstrong mom.
The perception people have about spirituality in general and meditation retreats in particular, never ceases to amaze me. The mere mention of meditation being an integral part of my daily routine evokes weird reactions. It prompts questions like, “Did you have a sad childhood?” or, “Are you depressed or heartbroken?” Then there are comments like, “You really don’t know how to enjoy life” et al. These are hurled at me so many times that I’ve stopped explaining. It may be disappointing or surprising to some, but I don’t feel these emotions; except occasionally, like any normal person -after all I am human too. I am a happily married woman, regular mom of two and as exciting or boring as the woman next door.
I introspect a lot, the highs and lows in life, the cherished stable moments, the good, bad, sunny, rainy days and revel in the comforting knowledge that no matter what happens I’ll always land on my feet. This belief in safe landing is what meditation helped me discover, the belief which in turn gives me monumental strength. Meditation gives me a high, long lasting peace that is indescribable. Maybe it’s my crazy -wanting to try different forms of meditation, hanging out with fellow beings who believe in fairies, rainbows, angles and above all a higher purpose. The retreat is just another desire that I wanted to fulfill.Devoid of any expectations, I want to take it up only “to be” (a term that most don’t understand) because everybody is so busy “trying to be” something. The “to be” is extremely powerful, it condenses energy, it makes you realise the power of here and now. I shall dwell more on that after I come back from this experience, as of now embarking on this intriguing program because isn’t life simply a spiritual journey?
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