Vipassana had always intrigued me and my long wait to participate in a 10 day course ended two weeks ago.
Day 0 as they call it- After the registration formalities were over, I stepped inside the complex to find my room. It was a very basic accommodation, a bed, a fan, small but clean. After a light supper, were given some basic instructions on how the day’s schedule would be like. Then after the first meditation session in Dhamma hall the noble silence was imposed. At 9 I retreated to my room for the night and that’s when trouble started. The room was hot like a blasting furnace. I tossed and turned the whole night, only to be woken from a light sleep at 4:00 am the next day.
Day 1- Feeling Groggy and sleepy I stillmanaged to drag myself to the Dhamma hall. We started with meditation but frankly I was too sleepy to concentrate on anything. The fact that the old lady next to me fell asleep made matters worse. I couldn’t wait for the session to end. 2 hours later breakfast was announced that was the day I fell in love with “feeka dalia”. After an hours sleep later, I resumed my practice. And it was shocking. All the thoughts about recent happenings in my life came to the surface. Every negative emotion that I had experienced came to mind, making it very difficult for me to stay meditative. Somewhere in the middle of this puddle of negative thoughts a song would crop up. My mental playlist comprised of Chantal, Chris Brown, and James blunt.
Day2- I saw “D” and rushed towards him. As we leaned closer towards each other I woke up to realise I was alone in my bed and this was only a dream. The dream did manage to wake me up on time for my morning session, although the only thing on my mind during the entire session was “D”. Then somewhere during my afternoon session, a new playlist cropped up and this time Kelly Clarkson was singing in my head. The rest of the day passed with kids and “D” vying for my attention inside my head. By the evening session however I couldn’t take it anymore and burst out crying. Thankfully the assistant teacher explained how the 2nd day brings out “asakti” or attachment and it’s just another roadblock. Convinced I decided to be stoic and continue.
Day 3- This was probably the worst day in the whole period. Old repressed memories from childhood and teens swam to the surface of my already troubled mind. The memories that I had comfortably buried and never thought will have to deal with again came alive. It was a harrowing experience. No matter what I tried, I could not dispel them. I felt exhausted and also noticed my appetite had started waning.
Day 4- This was the day when the actual “Vipassana Kriya” was imparted to us. This technique was something that I had been waiting for since day 0. The technique is very simple and the minor surgical procedure of the brain (this is what it’s compared with) continued. An enchanting moment this day was when during my morning walk in the garden outside the Dhamma hall a beautiful white butterfly flew and landed on my hand.
Days 5 & 6- These days were pretty much similar, I continued with my meditation concentrating on the technique. I realised that my senses were heightened. I could grasp and observe a lot of details. There was a storm on day 5 which brought the temperature down and I slept the whole night which was something that I really craved for.
By Day 6- I had discovered the beauty of silence.
I also discovered the power of 5 minute breaks, 2 minute short walks and 10 minute’s nap!
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