The heading is definitely not meant to be controversial or an eyeball grabber but my personal opinion. Relationship here does not mean any one specific kind but it’s the term in general- whether that of a mother and child, siblings, friends or even lovers. The struggle for power therefore is at the root of the prevalence of unhealthy relationships.Oh and please note this only pertains to unhealthy relationships.
The purest relationship considered is that of a mother and child. How does one then explain the fact that this love disappears (practically) when the child marries someone of his/her choice or does not follow the career path his/her parents charted-out? You may validate that by citing anxiety or concern as the cause but when you delve deep it’s nothing but the Mother/Father somewhere subconsciously sensing the loss of power. Afterall s/he also is a human-being and to be in control is a human tendency. Nobody wants their lives to fall apart. There have been numerous cases of parents disowning children for not ceding to their wishes and never seeing them again or for a very long time to say the least. Generally they come around and in most cases get back to being a family once again.In some extreme cases though parents who sired the children even end up killing them for the sake of “honour”.
Friendship- most of the bonds that we made as friends while we were young and kids were devoid of any motive, any judgement and continue strong into our adulthood and hopefully for life. But consider those publicly declared“friends forever” that we met later in our lives- when we had settled into our professions and even matrimony- how many of these last?Well, most of them filter out. #Friendsforever (or #bff) one day and blocking each other on social media the next. Think again, what happened? Well it’s the ego that subtly clashed and didn’t want to give-in or surrender.
Siblings- you grow up together, sharing every toy, memory, crush, even clothes. The same people don’t even flinch when it’s time to drag the other to court for something as petty as money or land. How can something so materialistic kill a bond that begins at birth? The yearning to be richer and more powerful triumphs over this bond- unfortunate indeed.
Love- isn’t this the most abused four-lettered word in English vocabulary? Everyone using those 3 words casually but how many of us say that sincerely and mean it. And if we did, why do relationships fail? How can love disappear, vanish? One moment I feel 10 feet tall and the next I want to lay on the floor forever- what the hell happened. What is supposed to be unconditional was subjected to conflicting schedules, temperaments and contradictory expectations which are nothing but an extension of our personalities or egos. The constant assault drove the mush away and in its place leaves two broken individuals. Anything that’s broken can be repaired. It needs nurturing and care but the Ego prevents any initiative to reconcile or making efforts and the individual chooses to remain broken than become wholesome again.
The relationships that last are always the ones where either parties are completely vulnerable and open with each other.There’s no winning or losing in a successful relationship. It’s unconditional, knows how to give and is devoid of expectations.At the same time it’s impulsive, in the moment and pure.